either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
