a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
