I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
