he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
