yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
