I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
