Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
is it fun? or sober?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
