So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's rum buckets o'clock
and you fell through a lawn chair
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
