He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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