shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
