escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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