Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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