elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
