we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
