Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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