C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
