Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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