Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.