Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.