my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
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Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
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The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution