i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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