i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.