so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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