Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
