Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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