that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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