Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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