he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
