And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
