see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
this hospital has no fireball
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize