We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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