she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
