I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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