Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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