Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize