direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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