butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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