when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
