There is no way he is gay with that hair.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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