He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
