we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Let's get the cat blown out
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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