In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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