Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
