Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
