my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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