so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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