I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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