I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
