its not stalking. its research.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
