She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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