i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
