This is not my ceiling
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
God I need to hump something, right now.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
