hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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