What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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