I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
