Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
