You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize