i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
