did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
