i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
