Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
