So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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