Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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